


Laika dances in heaven, somewhere in the muddy rain

by Kealpos



Series: The study of spontaneous human combustion, or, the inverse of loneliness [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Background Poly, Canon Trans Character, Character Study, Gen, Metafiction, Not Epilogue Compliant, Post-Canon, Screenplay/Script Format, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-27 09:33:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21389959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kealpos/pseuds/Kealpos
Summary: Loose ends, lasagna, old friends, and absolutely no wine.The stage play of Jade Harley peeks back in for just one moment.
Relationships: Calliope/Jade Harley/Roxy Lalonde, Jade Harley & The Audience
Series: The study of spontaneous human combustion, or, the inverse of loneliness [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542067
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Laika dances in heaven, somewhere in the muddy rain

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a sequel to my first script format jade meta fic that i actually only posted like a day ago, but there was more story to tell! there were more things i wanted to talk about that i couldnt in the confines of the story i had written myself into!  
the story was about jades time alone on the ship, with three chapters for her intro in act three, her three years on the ship, and the three seasons of danny phantom (.....makes more sense if you read the first one) and i couldnt mess it up.  
ANYWAYS the previous fic is not required reading but.. plz read it [Cause your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21340480)

SETTING: A large airy home. There are huge windows, wall to wall to wall, covered by transparent blue curtains that trail across the floor. There are several tables scattered across, multiple plants across each table. There are a couple of plants hanging from the ceiling, for that matter. There's a large, soft couch, as far from the texture of a Squiddle plush as a couch can get while still being incredibly comfortable. In front of it it a large floating television and a coffee table, covered in dirty dishes and several books and magazines with a variety of subject matter, spanning from nuclear physics, to transgender men and the remaking of identity, to cook books on how to prepare the best version of essentially raw meat, to tabloid magazines. Most of those featured on the magazine are recognizable from the core of you. On one, you see one speculating on when the big poly wedding from Skaia commences, the three grinning faces of Roxy Lalonde, Jade Harley, and Calliope staring back at the camera with huge overexaggerated winks. On another, it reads "Pick your favorite of these 15 grubs that would've been culled on Alternia, and we'll predict what age your future kids will hate you!"

AT RISE: The smell of cooking comes from the room just adjacent, and someone is humming along to a loud speaker. No, singing. Loudly. Badly. Joyfully. Belting "well i talk about it, talk about it, talk about talk about it!!!" Dear lord. They are singing Funkytown. 

??? (off-stage): talk about talk about talk about moving!!!!!  
??? (off-stage): gotta move on!! gotta move on!! gotta move on!!

THE AUDIENCE hears shuffling feet and the banging of some cooking apparatus, likely THE SINGER dancing. Oh, are they doing the dancing too? Oh god.

??? (off-stage): wont you take me to  
??? (off-stage): FUNKY TOWN????????

THE AUDIENCE peers around the door frame to the kitchen, and THE SINGER spots them immediately. Maybe their brain is in denial, because though their face is clear as day, it's impossible to make them out. Is that tinnitus? Has THE AUDIENCE been overcome with tinnitus due to their singing?

No matter, THE SINGER grabs THE AUDIENCE'S hands and swings them around in a clumsy dance.

???: oh wont you take me to  
???: FUNKYTOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
???: wont you take me to  
???: FUNKYTOWN?????????  
??? (through giggles): you say this next one!!!!  
THE AUDIENCE: W-won't you take me to. Funkytown?

They huff and pout, pulling away from the dance to stop the song and then place their hands on their hips.

???: seriously???  
???: i havent seen you in years and the first time we meet again you sing like THAT??

They sound thoroughly disappointed in THE AUDIENCE, but they look closer, and they can tell THE SINGER is trying very hard not to laugh.

THE AUDIENCE: Um. I'm... sorry?

THE SINGER breaks, falling into uproarious laughter and pulling THE AUDIENCE into a tight hug.

???: dont be sorry, im just winding you up  
???: no need to apologize to your good pal jade!!

THE AUDIENCE suddenly realizes who it is. JADE HARLEY grins at them. It's not hard to tell why she isn't immediately recognizable; Her hair was cut and now frames her face in tight curls. Her glasses are in the shape of clovers, obscuring half of her face. Her sharp teeth that you could once only see when she yawned have grown out like her still-persistent overbite.

THE AUDIENCE: Jade? Wow! You've changed a lot!  
JADE: heehee, of course silly  
JADE: its been like seven years!!  
JADE: i wouldve hoped i changed  
JADE: of course its not like you changed much huh??  
THE AUDIENCE: No, I guess not.

THE AUDIENCE looks around, taking in the surroundings. JADE'S currently preparing some dish by baking lasagna noodles and coating raw meat with sauce. Separately, regular lasagna. 

THE AUDIENCE: What'cha making?  
JADE: oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JADE scrambles back around and pulls the noodles out of the oven.

JADE: lasagna!!  
JADE: regular lasagna which is for me and and rox  
JADE: and lasagna with raw meat!!! for me and callie!!!  
JADE: i can eat both because of my doggy tendencies :P  
JADE: theyre out with june right now

THE AUDIENCE knows instinctively JADE is talking about JUNE EGBERT, another protagonist in another story.

THE AUDIENCE: And not you? You guys are sisters, aren't you?  
JADE: .....  
JADE: do you want to stay for dinner??  
JADE: roxy and calliope dont know you obviously lol but they always like new friends  
THE AUDIENCE: ....  
JADE: ....  
THE AUDIENCE: Maybe. Sure. I like pasta. I haven't had lasagna in years.  
JADE: haha me neither  
JADE: well ive had it in the past couple years  
JADE: its just

JADE smiles softly at the food. 

JADE: you know what?  
JADE: lasagna can wait  
JADE: wine!!!! and an old friend  
JADE: go sit down

THE AUDIENCE sits over at the table as Jade sets the food back and pulls two wine glasses out and sets a bottle on the table with a loud CLANG!!!!!!!!

Several minutes later, JADE has filled both of their glasses with premium wine. It's very purple. THE AUDIENCE swirls it, staring into it like the void it is.

JADE (sipping her drink): you know, im not actually a wine person

She makes a face. 

JADE: not an alcohol person  
THE AUDIENCE: Me neither, really.  
JADE: we dont even keep it in the house cuz its bad for rox  
JADE: i just keep a small alchemizer in the cabinets  
THE AUDIENCE: We should stop drinking this and pour this out into the sink.  
JADE: we really should, shouldnt we

They both take a long sip, then spit it out.

JADE: i have a bottle of sparkling cider in the fridge  
THE AUDIENCE: You grab that, I'll dump this out.

THE AUDIENCE and JADE work in tandem, like true old friends, and not just characters who would occasionally encounter one another in a hard time. Soon, they're settled, with much better tasting drinks.

JADE: roxy LOVES fizzy drinks but for obvious reasons he doesnt want to be around alcohol  
JADE: and i never got into the whole alcoholic teen depression thing that seems to effect this group :P  
JADE: so once me rox and callie started hanging around more i just didnt have a reason to try it  
JADE: this kind of interaction just seems the type fit to be hashed out over a bottle of wine, doesnt it  
THE AUDIENCE: 'This kind of interaction'?  
JADE: like

JADE sighs, running her fingers around the rim of her cider-filled wine glass.

JADE: i havent seen you in a very long time  
JADE: im twenty three now, if you havent quite noticed  
JADE: and im wracking my brain thinking why now??  
JADE: why are you here??  
JADE: i figured it out

She taps her nose.

JADE: times of distress

THE AUDIENCE takes a long sip of cider to indicate a curious encouragement to continue talking.

JADE: i only ever saw you when the feelings of loneliness felt so bad it hurt and i felt like giving up the whole project entirely  
JADE: i dont feel like that now, at least not in the same way  
JADE: back then it was giving up on the ship and the trip and everything and leaving my friends behind, just leave a husk of myself

JADE peers into her glass of bubbly apple cider like it could tell her the answers to her life problems. Though, if it could do that, she probably wouldn't be talking to THE AUDIENCE.

JADE: its weird  
JADE: i dont know ANYTHING about you but you also know my like, deepest darkest secrets and thoughts  
JADE: ive told rox and cal the facts but they dont know it as intimately as i know they would like to  
JADE: like i know you havent had lasagna in years and you dont like wine and you dont seem all that different from when we last met and you like danny phantom but prefer season one-  
THE AUDIENCE: When did I tell you that?  
JADE: you did, didnt you?

**[Director notes: The reader is, of course, free to peruse the original story for any mention of this preference. It would be quicker if the reader simply noted that there is no textual evidence to support this.]**

They contemplate.

THE AUDIENCE: I do like season one the most. It's just so fun.  
JADE: see what i mean???  
JADE: i dont know much about you but you know a lot about, as rose would put it  
JADE (in a bad impression of ROSE LALONDE): The inner machinations of my subconscious mind.  
JADE: haha im bad at her voice!!

JADE lays her head on her hand and smiles, wine glass held tightly between her fingers.

JADE: seriously though  
JADE: who ARE you???????  
THE AUDIENCE: Me?  
THE AUDIENCE: I dunno. Just a friend passing through. A spectator. The audience, so to speak.  
THE AUDIENCE: I like Italian food but I don't like tomatoes and I never eat cereal. My birthday is in March. I like musical theatre. I like helping, but I'm usually a loner. That's who I am.  
THE AUDIENCE: So, Jade.  
THE AUDIENCE: I've told you who I am. Why don't you tell me what's going on?  
JADE: ....

JADE downs her glass of cider, pours another, downs that, and then sighs.

JADE: me and june  
JADE (grimacing): its complicated  
JADE: we had this long conversation like maybe two years ago  
JADE: and its weird we went that long without really talking  
JADE: i mean  
JADE: i love her i really do  
JADE: its just neither of us know how to start conversations and neither of us know how to walk away  
JADE: but like two years ago she sits me down and is like i want to talk to you about something  
JADE: and im like yeah of course anything cause its JUNE you know?????  
JADE: and shes like i think im a girl or i think i want to be a girl or something, i dont remember how she said it  
JADE: and we had this long conversation where she explained what she meant and i comforted her and shit  
JADE: and at one point she mentioned like trying on dresses with me on the ship  
JADE: and i was like you know since weve never talked about it could i ask about the ship and the trip and everything?  
JADE: and she was kind of reluctant cause duh but mostly she jumped on the chance and started talking about gaming and how close we were and davesprite and me  
JADE: and she was like we talk like this all the time  
JADE: and i had to tell her june, weve never just sat down and talked like this  
JADE: and i started talking about my side like what happened and how sad and lonely it was and obviously i didnt mention the  
JADE: the unfortunate things i did to try and see everybody again  
JADE: but i did tell her how it messed me up  
JADE: and she was just like  
JADE: oh i hadnt noticed  
JADE: and she talked about the choice she made to retcon everything and how she knew SOMETHING would happen but didnt realize it would leave me alone and i  
JADE: i just got so angry  
JADE: and i know it was dumb and mean of me to get angry but  
JADE: ....  
JADE: ive been working with feelings with a therapist  
JADE: let me try that again  
JADE: and it felt like i was being unfair, which i wasnt but i felt like it because it started as junes conversation but i got mad and i was like i can bring you can skirts tomorrow and then left  
JADE: and i just got angrier and angrier and it was hard to talk to june without feeling mad so eventually i sat her down like hey i want to talk to you about something  
JADE: and i confronted her about the things she said like not noticing how messed up i had been or like the choice  
JADE: and eventually i blew up on her and stamped off and weve been very awkward since  
JADE: and i know im being kind of mean and unfair but god!!!!!!!!  
JADE: i still feel really bad though  
JADE: i really knocked the wind out from under her sails and she didnt come out to everyone else until like last year  
JADE: but things have been awkward ever since  
JADE: and i worry  
JADE: .....  
JADE: i still really love her  
JADE: i mean shes been one of my best friends for YEARS and shes my sister  
JADE: you know what i said about only encountering you when i felt like giving up on the whole thing entirely??  
JADE: i guess i feel like that now with wondering whether i should even... care anymore  
JADE: care about feeling bad about her or care about the stupid fight idk  
JADE: i just  
JADE: i miss her  
JADE: and we need to have a conversation but also i kinda think i need her to start it first  
JADE: or it feels like im not doing myself justice  
JADE: am i being unfair????  
THE AUDIENCE: ....  
THE AUDIENCE: You know I can't answer that for you.

JADE sighs, sagging in her chair and hunching over the table.

JADE: i know  
JADE: maybe i should reach out to her and break the ice  
JADE: maybe then we can heal again  
JADE: ....  
JADE: i wonder whats taking them so long

As if on cue, a ringing sound begins, and JADE pulls out her phone, buzzing in a call. Her finger hovers over the screen. The caller ID reads ROXY😏❤😳💋💘😍💌 and she hesitates over the answer button, before finally clicking it and putting it on speaker.

JADE: hello?  
ROXY (through speaker): hiiiiii babe!  
ROXY (through speaker): were gonna b running late bcuz junie made brownies  
ROXY (through speaker): were just scooping some up  
ROXY (through speaker): cals off eatin  
ROXY (through speaker): you want a piece  
JADE: um  
JADE: sure!!  
JADE: can you grab two a friend of mine might be staying for dinner  
ROXY (through speaker): oh??? :O  
JADE: yeah haha  
JADE: ....  
JADE: um  
JADE: has june... asked about me at all  
ROXY (through speaker): ...  
ROXY (through speaker): a little bit why  
JADE: no reason  
JADE: um  
ROXY (through speaker): ....  
ROXY (through speaker): dya wanna talk 2 her  
JADE: ..........

JADE looks at THE AUDIENCE with a fearful look. THE AUDIENCE smiles reassuringly at her, and grabs her hand tight. She takes in a deep breath.

JADE: okay  
JADE: sure  
JADE: ....

JADE and THE AUDIENCE listen as the phone shifts hands, a small she wants to talk to me?? escaping through. Finally:

JUNE (through speaker): um, hi.. jade.  
JUNE (through speaker): it's.... been a while.  
JADE: yeah it has, hasnt it  
JADE: ....  
JUNE (through speaker): .....

Finally, JADE laughs, light and clear as a bell.

JADE: this is so dumb  
JADE: do you want to come over for dinner?  
JADE: im making lasagna  
JUNE (through speaker): oh.  
JUNE (through speaker): yeah, um  
JUNE (through speaker): are you sure?  
JADE: yes  
JUNE (through speaker): ....  
JUNE (through speaker): yeah, okay.  
JUNE (through speaker): okay.  
JUNE (through speaker): i can come.  
ROXY (through speaker): well see u in like fifteen  
ROXY (through speaker): u n ur mysterious friend  
JADE: i guess so  
ROXY (through speaker): ....  
ROXY (through speaker): hey jadey  
JADE: yeah rox?  
ROXY (through speaker): thank you  
ROXY (through speaker): i know things have been hard between u two but she really misses you  
ROXY (through speaker): missed u  
JADE: i...  
JADE: i missed her too  
ROXY (through speaker): well see u soon  
ROXY (through speaker): love ya  
JADE: love you too

The phone call clicks to an end and JADE sets the device down, slightly vibrating from fear or excitement.

JADE: i...  
JADE: i......  
JADE: I NEED TO THROW THE LASAGNA IN THE OVEN RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JADE scrambles out of her chair and towards the oven, but then freezes and turns around with a soft grin on her face. She wraps THE AUDIENCE in a huge hug.

JADE (whispering): thank you  
JADE (whispering): its going to be hard but im ready  
JADE (whispering): thank you

The oven beeps at her. She pulls away smiling

JADE: now lets get ready for guests

BLACKOUT

END OF PLAY

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> jade character playlist: [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1ZxiWb3gkVLLURsQMA0Opa)  
my tumblr: [here](https://transannabeths.tumblr.com)


End file.
